The day (almost) every girl waits for has finally arrived, he has proposed and you are officially allowed to start planning your dream wedding. Now growing up we all have a vision of how we want to look on our wedding day, how we want our bridal party to look, the hall, the cake and so forth. What we do not realize is how much all of this actually costs. Weddings are not cheap and I think you need to initially sit down with your partner and set a logical budget which works for both of you as opposed to just swinging it. Yes, we all want our dream wedding but when it comes down to it, that may be a lot pricier than you thought.
Weddings now a days can cost anywhere from 10,000 to 500,000+ depending on various things. Logically speaking, when the couple is paying for the wedding it is a little more difficult to go over budget as opposed to when the parents are paying for it because it's coming out of your pocket and that is totally understandable ( to a certain extent in my book). What newly engaged couples do not realize is there are always alternatives to things you may want, a certain flower, a certain bridesmaid dress and in order to make it work within your budget you need to hire a planner.
Step 1. Set a Budget - Sit down with your significant other and set a firm budget which you both can agree on and are comfortable with. Try to give your budget a little buffer zone as well because emergencies do happen and things do go wrong, it's normal but its better to be prepared for it than to stress about it. So say your maximum budget for the wedding is $25,000, tell yourselves your budget is around 22,000 so you have a 3,ooo buffer for emergencies. If you do not end up using that money stick it in your savings account.
Step 2. Hire a Planner - The job of the planner is to keep the couple organized, on schedule, within budget and make sure they are stress free on their big day. Some of you may think, instead of spending $1,500-$3,000 for a "Day of" Planner I'll put it towards something else. That is true, but in the end you will be so grateful for having a planner you won't care about the money. This way you are carefree and you do not have your mother or mother in
law running around stressing you out trying to find the chef because the
hourdervs have run out. Now all planners have their own preferred vendors because these are people they work with year round for various occasions so couples need to use this to their advantage. This will be a big plus because all planners want their clients to be happy so they will do everything they can and pull whatever strings they can and/or want in some cases to keep the couple happy. At the end you will thank me for this suggestion.
Step 3. Make a List/Schedule - Make a list of everything that needs to be done in chronological order. Start with the first things which need to be done and go from there. If you hire a full time planner, they will do this for you and give it to you, if you do not have one just go to www.theknot.com, sign up and they'll give you a list of what needs to be done by when. You may have to tweak it a bit but it helps keep you on schedule.
Step 4. Don't Procrastinate- This is your WEDDING not your Term Paper don't procrastinate!! The ceremony and reception locations do not care if your "forgot" or "did not have time" to book them, because someone else remembered and now your date is gone! You HAVE to stay on top of your To Do List like White on Rice. If you want your wedding done right you can not be lazy. I do not care where you have to go or what you have to do, book the ceremony & reception locations and the entertainment first thing and then you can go do whatever else it is you need to do. Now, if you have a planner, they will do all of this for you. You just give them a few dates you prefer and they try and make it happen, if favors need to be called in let them do it because they have the connections this time, not you.
Step 5. The Dress - The most important thing (in my opinion). Every girl envisions themselves a certain way on their wedding day. Reality check ladies, it may not happen, but do not look at it as a bad thing. You may want a ball gown but when you try on the ball gown of your dreams it may not flatter you. You may look short, frumpy, heavy on top, etc...do not worry!! There is always a dress which will make you look fabulous just be open to trying on different styles. Just because you see yourself in a certain dress does not mean that dress will look good on you. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be open to trying on different styles when you go to look for your dress. Even if it is a style you do not like, try it on, you may be pleasantly surprised. Again, use the planner (if you have one) and the person at the wedding salon to help you in regards to which silhouettes will be more flattering for your body type. Do not be stubborn because if you are either you will not find a dress and leave upset and emotional until you accept the fact of which style looks good on you or you will buy a dress which is not flattering on you and once you get your pictures you will hate yourself for not listening. So try on different silhouettes, figure out which is most flattering, then find the design you like and voila you have your dress.
Step 6. The Flowers - This is my second most important item of the wedding after the dress. The flowers either make it or break it for me. Sometimes, couples do not spend too much on flowers and put the money elsewhere like in the budget for favors or invitations. Okay people this is my opinion and you may not like it but it's true: Flowers are important!!! I can not stress this enough. People think oh they will die who cares, or who looks at the flowers? Surprise everyone does. Where is you walking into a hall full of amazing centerpieces which change the entire room and give it this romantic beautiful glow as opposed to walking into a hall with flowers that look like you just picked them from a random garden and stuck it in a vase because someone told you you had to have flowers. First and foremost it makes the wedding look cheap. No one knows or cares that you put your flower budget into the favors because frankly, those favors will eventually be tossed or eaten so no justification there. Secondly you spend so much money on this wedding, regardless of what your budget is, you do not want people saying "Oh it was a cheap wedding or it was an ugly wedding." Everyone does it according to their budget but do not cut out your flower budget when that is the main thing that is going to make your ceremony and reception looks amazing and sometimes more "expensive" than it actually is. Flowers change a room so use it to your advantage. If they are too expensive, first off find a florist who will work with your budget and one who understands your vision. Secondly, do not use orchids and roses use wildflowers and different daisies and stock. You can make it work with your budget it's just a matter of wanting to and putting in the time.
Step 7. The Photographer - The most important person in the room after the bride and groom that day. Yes he/she is and I will tell you why: Because you spend so much money on your dream wedding and you have absolutely nothing to show for it after the fact besides your dress because the tuxedo is probably rented. The ONLY thing you will have left from your wedding are your photographs and which you will cherish forever. These will be what your children and grandchildren admire when you tell stories, and what you show them when you talk about their cousins or aunts and uncles. So with that being said, make sure you love your photographer to pieces and you guys get along because he will be with your every second of the day (no joke). He/she may annoy the crap out of you at one point with all the pictures but just remind yourself, this is for you not for him so shut your mouth and smile for the birdie. There is nothing as good as getting amazing photos of your big day to remind you of it. So do a lot of research on your photographer, make sure he takes the types of photos you want, action shots, candid etc and be comfortable with him.
Step 8: Bridesmaids & Flower Girl Dresses - Remember what I said about your photographer? Keep it i mind because you don't want to have your maids looking like cotton candy walking down the aisle. If you make them look ugly your wedding pictures will be ruined and it would be all your fault. So first and foremost, don't try to make your maids look ugly so you look pretty (yes I've seen it it happens). Secondly, have two colors in mind for their dresses, in case one doesn't work out or the dress you like doesn't come in that color shade you have a back up. Thirdly, take your maids into consideration when picking the dress. Not everyone is a size 2, some girls are heavier on top some are heavier on the bottom, put yourself in their shoes and pick a dress accordingly. You don't want any of your girls feeling ugly or hating how they look because of you (that's not nice). Fourth, be open to suggestions and options. If a strapless dress doesn't work for all your girls, be open to the rest adding a strap or changing it to a one shoulder look because you want them to be comfortable. If your maids aren't comfortable they are not going to dance and have a good time and that is not fair to them. Fifth, do not let any of your maids run the show. It is your wedding, you're the boss, what you say goes. If they refuse to wear the dress you pick, try to convince them but if they're being too difficult and selfish give them an ultimatum, this time it's ok. This is your day, your dress, if she doesn't like it she can wear her own dress and arrive as a guest, it is not a fashion show and it is not her wedding so make that clear. Sixth, do not abuse your maids please. This has happened, just watch "Bridezillas" sometimes I think these women can't be real but they are. Seventh, if you are paying for the dresses, stay within budget, these dresses will never be worn again. If the girls are paying for their dresses ask them what price range they are comfortable with so no one has to go get a second job to be your bridesmaid. They are your bridesmaids not your slaves so treat them them as such and be respectful. Keep your maids happy and they will keep you happy on your big day!
Step 9: Invitations & Favors - The first thing they see about your wedding and the last thing they see. Both are important, invitations more than favors in my opinion but it can be a toss up. Your invitation gives the vibe of the wedding, is it outdoor, black tie, backyard boogie etc so be specific with what you chose but don't overdo it. The invitation is looked at twice, once when it is received and once on the day of for the addresses so don't spend too much money on it it's not worth it. Every bride wants an original invitation but only you will know it's an original, everybody else honesty won't care. Now I'm not saying send photocopied fliers, but just don't overdo it. Instead put that extra money towards your flowers.
As for the favors, in my opinion they should have the smallest budget because they are going to be discarded after the wedding. Some people won't take it home, others will but will throw it away once they ask themselves what they're supposed to do with a frame of you two and the rest will hoard it somewhere in the house then throw it away 2 years later. A good idea is chocolate as a favor or something which can be used everyday, a bottle stopper, or a mini alcoholic beverage or don't do anything at all. I've been to many weddings where to cut costs they didn't do a favor and honestly no one realized and we're Armenian we notice every single thing so if we didn't realize, no one else will either. It's a personal preference honestly but should be on the smaller scale of the budget.
I love attending and planning weddings but if the bride and groom are not having fun, the guests won't have fun either. So hire your planner and let him/her take care of everything as you dance the night away.
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