Nowadays it seems like divorce is the new fad and it's the only option people have when things between them are not working out. From a woman's perspective, I'm glad we do not live in our grandparents or great grandparents era where, at least in the middle east, it was a "suck it up" attitude. If a wife was not happy with her husband too bad she was stuck with him and the fact that she did not chose him was not even a justification as to why things were not working. You committed yourself to the man so now you deal with all the good and all the bad regardless. Thankfully, things have changed just like people's mentalities and arranged marriages are not in our futures, but that does not give us the right to use divorce as an "out" at any moment we choose.
Relationships nowadays are hard as is, just meeting someone who you actually have interests with whom you can get along with and enjoy their company is a bigger challenge than ever, so when I hear that the divorce rate is so high it really bothers me. Maybe it bothers me because my parents are divorced and I went through all the drama that comes with the divorce and I do not want kids to go through that, maybe it bothers me because I can not stand people who expect everything to work out on its own without them putting any effort into it or maybe it bothers me because I love love. Yes, I am the biggest cheerleader for love you will ever find. I think everyone in their life has to have that amazing, mad, passionate, "The world is mine" feeling because of someone and personally I will not allow any of my friends and loved to give up on it. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm a hopeless romantic but I am what I am and I love it! So it hurts me when I hear a couple is getting a divorce because I feel as though marriage has in some way, become similar to a sexy pair of shoes you have to have then after a season your tired of it and it's out of fashion and you stop wearing them and that's not what it is. Now I may be wrong because I'm not married and I know marriage is beyond hard work; trying to fit two personalities, two lifestyles, two lives into one is extremely difficult but that's what marriage is. It's about give and take, learning the other person's flaws and accepting them for who they are and not who you would like them to be, it's about learning to love their quirks and bad sides just as much as you love the good things and being able to deal with them. Marriage is about you and your other half becoming one and having that life partner to help you through the bad times and to celebrate with you during the good times. If you can not accept the idea of sharing your life, which includes your closet, refrigerator, tv, bed, space and everything else you can think of, then you should not get married. If you feel as though there are things in your life that you have missed out on, partying, clubbing, getting sloshed and ending up on the floor in the middle of a club or whatever it is you wish to do, please get it all out of your system and then get married instead of having a mid-life crisis at the age of 32.
I know when we were younger everyone, including myself, had this plan of getting married by 24, kids by 26, along with a nice home, a great job and a wonderful husband and starting your life and creating your own family. Then it was our 24th birthday and we were like "What was I thinking? Married at 24? I'm just starting my life." So that plan went out the window and we all got a good reality check which showed us we can not plan everything in life, and we should let life take its course. Whatever God has planned for us will happen when it's supposed to happen. So instead of being married at a young age and possibly being unhappy in a marriage and part of the new divorce rate, because God knows I personally have changed a great deal between 24 and 29, we established our careers, learned about ourselves and are finally content with where we are in life. Granted, we could have been happily married as well, but it is what it is.
So throughout the years, as my friends and family get married it makes me realize how hard a marriage actually is. All the give and take, the agreements and disagreements and the conforming which has to take place in order for a marriage to work is difficult and it takes two people who are on the same page to actually make it work. Look, in my opinion unless there is a major issue, such as one of the partners has a gambling issue or is an uncontrollable alcoholic or an extreme which affects you, your relationship and your family in a very negative way and that person is not doing anything about it, there is a solution to everything else. Cheating is a whole other story in itself, so we're not even going there; but with all that being said I think divorce should be the last resort. Every couple has issues and problems every couple has disagreements but with both of you working together there is nothing you can not figure out. I think as long as the couple is on the same page and they understand and communicate properly, meaning they have verbal communication and they do not expect their significant other to read their mind, then there is nothing you can not handle. Understand where the other one is coming from, put yourself in their shoes, then see if you can find a middle ground and figure out a solution to the problem. Go to couple's counseling, talk to a mutual friend whom you both trust to give you advice but do not give up easily. When there is love on both sides, there is nothing you would not do for the other and there is no problem you would not be able to solve together as a team; and that amazing "Over the moon" love is even harder to get rid of then it is to find. So divorce is not always the solution, it may, at one point, become the only solution, but its should be the last solution.
Love is amazing!!
P.S. The only thing more beautiful and wonderful than Young Love is Old Love
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