The words people dread hearing but one out of two say it anyways "We need a break" or "It's Over." The problem is when us women start over analyzing these words when we're not the ones who said it (which we do oh so well, including myself) and they become a bit confusing and/or misconstrued. Here is where it gets a little tricky.
The difference about men that women don't know or understand is that men are very simple, its either black or white, there is rarely any gray areas with men. What he thinks and feels comes straight out of his mouth, after it passes through a small filter, which we sometimes wish was bigger. An example of this is during the holidays he asks you "Babe what should I get you for Christmas?" You respond with "Nothing babe," but what you really mean is "Weren't you paying attention when I showed you that new purse when we were at the mall last week?" Honestly ladies, he probably didn't and you can't really blame him because that how men are wired and why you end up with a card or nothing during Christmas because you didn't want anything. Now us women, we over analyze a situation, we think about the consequences, hurting his feelings, we word our phrases accordingly and so forth; men don't do that because to them it's a waste of time. Their mentality is just say what you mean and life would be much easier, which in a sense is true, but were women and that is why we are supposed to be the "caretakers" and they are supposed to be the "bread winners".
With that being said, words being misinterpreted or misconstrued are inevitable, but it's worse when its a break up situation. If, assuming he's breaking up with you, he doesn't clearly explain what he wants, i.e. breaking up and says "We need a break" then if she texts or calls him at any point, she turns into the "Crazy, psychotic girlfriend who won't leave him alone," because according to her "They're on a break" and she still has hope they're getting back together, but what he meant was he wants to break up and that word game is what's difficult. One thing that every person should remember is that in a relationship, communication is key! It doesn't matter how many times you talk or text each other during the day, if you do not communicate clearly what you want him to understand and vice versa, then it's more than likely going to be misunderstood.
Breaking up, in general, is a difficult situation on both ends, because regardless of who is doing it, they may still care about the other person, they are just not in love with him/her. Now, I believe, age plays a very large role in this situation, let me explain why.
When you are in your early to mid 20's, having a boyfriend is not necessarily for your future. It may lead to something later on, but at that age you are having fun and still figuring out what you want in life and trying to figure out what makes you happy. As we get older, women stop dating for fun as much as they used to and life turns into "Serious mode." Meaning, they are looking for a life partner, someone to have kids with and/or marry and God willing someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Now, when your 30 years old and you have been dating someone for a while and you think there's a future, then they suddenly he break up with you, that is not a situation where you two are taking a break. At that age, if you and/or your partner do not know what you want in your significant other, then that person needs to take time to find him/her self first, and then decide what he/she wants in their partner and accordingly move forward into a relationship. Otherwise, you will be giving someone false hope for a relationship that never should have happened and usually it's realized when both have invested a great deal into the relationship yet all of a sudden the feelings are not mutual. At that point, when you are at a different stage in your life as opposed to the 23-24 year old and it's a break up it is not a break. Now, if your in your early to mid 20's and your man states he wants a break or wants to break up you need to have a clear line of communication as to what he wants because you both may interpret the wrong thing. At that age, you can have a break in order for one or both to figure out what they really want in their life since you're still young. Once that is done, either you get back together or you guys are completely over, and this line can get a little blurry since at that age couples still try to be friends and hang out together. Regardless of what the decision is and even if you feel like your 30 and your man wants a break not a break up, you have to make sure that the lines of communication are crystal clear, and ladies, for once, to avoid extra heartache and drama, just be blunt and straightforward and ask if you're not sure "Are we taking a break or are we breaking up?" That is the fastest way to get the answer you deserve. Think of it as your mom ripping the band-aid off your knee really fast so it doesn't prolong the pain. This way both of you can go on with your lives after you've had your closure and allow that "one"to find you. Remember, if God meant for you two to be together then you will be, leave it up to Him.
P.S. The definition of a beautiful woman is a happy woman and as long as you're happy anything is possible!
-Love is Amazing

No comments:
Post a Comment